Coffee Makes You Ugly – What to drink instead

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Ten Reasons You Shouldn’t be Drinking Coffee

10. It’s bad for you.

It has a lot of caffeine in it. Over-consumption of caffeine can lead to adrenal failure, hormone imbalance, anxiety symptoms, depleted iron and calcium levels in women, heart palpitations, increased blood pressure and stress hormone levels, insomnia, nervousness or jitters. It limits your body’s ability to assimilate and absorb certain vitamins and minerals – namely magnesium and B vitamins.

9. Coffee has no nutritional value.

NONE. Nada. No vitamins, minerals, protein or enzymes. Some (who are in denial) argue that its antioxidants give it some nutritional steam, but alas, any potential benefits are cancelled out by the horrendous dangers to your health.

8. Coffee is heavily sprayed by pesticides.

Most coffee is grown outside the US and we have no control over what chemical nastiness or how much of said nastiness is sprayed on the beans. There is also the ever-present issue of ethics and fair trade in the coffee industry.

7. Coffee is a diuretic.

(it causes you to pee out way too much) It impairs your body’s ability to properly absorb and use water. Coupled with the issue of flushing out needed vitamins and minerals caused by the caffeine content, it’s a lose-lose situation. Plus, most people don’t drink enough water anyway.

6. It’s addictive.

I’m just against anything that makes me want it over and over again. I have an addictive personality anyway, so I have to really watch out for this stuff. It ticks me off when I lose control over my brain or my body, so I stay away from potentially addictive stuff. (Hence, the reason I never tried crack, obviously, but I did get addicted to nose spray once. That was hellish.)

5. It jacks with your blood sugar.

Caffeine stimulates a temporary rush in blood sugar followed by an overproduction of insulin, which causes a blood sugar crash. This roller coaster causes weight gain since insulin’s message to the body is to store excess sugar as fat. Blood sugar crashing and fat collection? Oh, yes please!

4. It can cause ulcers.

I’ve heard many a devoted coffee drinker lament about their ulcer or their stomach hurts and they have heart burn on a regular basis. That’s because coffee increases the secretion of hydrochloric acid in the stomach, which leads to an increased risk for ulcers. Coffee, including decaf, reduces pressure on the valve between the esophagus and the stomach so that the highly acidic and disgusting contents of your stomach pass up through your blow hole and make you throw up in your mouth, which leads to heartburn and reflux.

3. It sabotages your other health endeavors.

Even if you’re trying really hard to eat healthy, nutrient dense food, if you’re chugging coffee regularly, your efforts are being sabotaged. All the work you’re doing eating healthy is being counter-acted by the coffee causing mal-absorption and other maladies.

2. It ruins your sleep.

Especially if you’re a chick. Women metabolize caffeine differently than men and one cup of coffee in the morning can cause insomnia at night. Either way, dude or chick, it can interfere with sleeping and melatonin production.

1. It makes you ugly.

Well, kind of. As you get older and crustier, you can’t tolerate the same level of caffeine consumption you could in your younger years. Production of DHEA, melatonin and other vital hormones decline with age, but caffeine speeds up that process. Caffeine dehydrates the body and contributes to aging of the skin and kidneys. It has been shown to inhibit DNA repair and slow the ability of the liver to detoxify foreign toxins.

So now that your coffee bubble is burst, what do you do?









Why, drink organic, raw hot cacao, of course. It’s a power-packed morning punch with lots of chocolaty goodness to start your day. Organic, Raw Cacao powder is cacao beans that are ground. It’s not processed or adulterated in any way and was considered by the Mayans to be a Food of the Gods.

My Coconut Hot Cacao recipe is loaded with protein, healthy fats and good things like magnesium, potassium and calcium. It does contain caffeine, but try 12mg per cup as compared to 75mg in a cup of coffee. For more information on cacao, click here. I can typically drink this in the morning and feel full for several hours.

The addition of coconut oil adds some interesting advantages. Blood sugar stabilization, anti-bacterial and anti-fungal properties as well as appetite control. For more information on the glories of coconut oil, click here. Add in a little natural roasted chicory for a hint of coffee flavor and some raw honey and you have yourself a healthy alternative to coffee.

Want to know where and what to buy? Here’s your grocery list:

(contains affiliate links – click for buying info)


Coconut Hot Cacao
Serves 1
A delicious, chocolaty and healthy replacement for coffee. Packed full of nutrients, healthy fat, protein, vitamins and minerals for a good start to your day.
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Prep Time
1 min
Cook Time
2 min
Total Time
3 min
Prep Time
1 min
Cook Time
2 min
Total Time
3 min
  1. 1 tablespoon of raw cacao powder
  2. 2-3 tablespoons of water (filtered - we use reverse osmosis filtration)
  3. 1 1/2 cups of raw milk (regular milk is fine, but read my post on raw milk and git ya some)
  4. 1 tablespoon of Roma Instant Roasted Grain Beverage (fake, coffee flavored granules)
  5. 1-2 tablespoons of raw honey (or however much floats your boat)
  6. 1-2 tablespoons of coconut oil (optional, but highly recommended)
  1. 1. Take a small saucepan and add 1 tablespoon of raw cacao powder and a small bit of water (2-3 tablespoons). Place on burner on medium heat, stirring often until combined into a delicious smelling chocolate syrup.
  2. 2. After chocolate is combined with water, add milk and continue stirring occasionally until it is heated through and steaming. Be careful, it will scorch!
  3. 3. While your chocolate and milk are heating, place remaining ingredients into your favorite mug.
  4. 4. Pour milk and chocolate mixture into mug and stir to combine.
  5. 5. Enjoy your healthy coffee replacement!
  1. The coconut oil will separate and rise to the top, so stir often while you're drinking it.
  2. This is one of those recipes that you have to tweak to your own liking. Try it several times and multiple ways until it tastes good to you.
  3. And don't try to tell me it will take too long and coffee's easier to make. Not true. Once you get into the muscle memory of it, it's simple and quick.
Minivan Maverick

Photo Courtesy of Paul and arztsamui via


Do you drink coffee? Know of any good alternatives for a hot morning drink? Comment below.

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4 thoughts on “Coffee Makes You Ugly – What to drink instead

  1. Good morning Jesi

    Good article with lots of great follow up information and links. For a short period of my life, I drank coffee at an office that I worked in. It really was the only time I ever drank it. I didn’t like the taste of it, but continued drinking it anyway. Pretty soon I couldn’t stay away from the pot in the morning. Of course the fact that I was making it for everyone else didn’t help. Anyway, I was very glad when I no longer worked there, and was easily able to give it up. It is funny, thinking back on it, that I really didn’t ever like the taste of it and had to doctor it up to drink it. Strange. I guess that is part of the addicting nature of it.

    Thanks for sharing. Hope you are having a great day.
    Regina Partain recently posted…A Rich Heritage – We Are Crafts + 3 Days of GiveawaysMy Profile


    Jesi Randalls-Abernathy Reply:

    You’re lucky because I’m the other end of the spectrum. I LOVE the taste of coffee. The black beauty beckons to me in convenience stores and restaurants… I’ve had to supplement with other stuff to stay away. The best thing for me is knowing how bad it really is so I was hoping through this post I could share the wealth. Thanks for your comment!


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