The Emasculation of America

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We women deserve a good, firm scolding. What are we doing? We’re so busy being empowered and taking over the world that we’ve created a major monster. So many of the men of this country are beat-down dogs with their tails between their legs. They’re steadily retreating under the pressures of political correctness, stifling and repressing their anthropological drives for fear of doing or saying something that might incite riotous behavior from their fearless female counterparts.

Our society is so swept up and romanced by the notion that women are the beautiful underdogs – the ones who must be saved and educated about our cerebral prowess from a young age. We’re fed a constant stream of tidbits telling us of our power, confidence and abilities and how we must go out into the world and change it with those wonderful skills we possess. We are beautiful no matter what size, we can do anything a man can do and do it better. We are awesome. Because we have vaginas.

But men – men are just…helpless idiots. They’re programmed to function as giant beer and sex obsessed infants. Just sit down and watch a few minutes of any sitcom and in will saunter the helpless husband who needs his wife to tell him what to wear and when to change his underpants. He’ll be there, holding her handbag, getting chauffeured in the passenger seat of his minivan while his wife plows around town with his balls in her purse. (the purse she paid for because she’s the breadwinner) Then later, when she’s out with the girls and Dad is home babysitting his kids, she’ll complain that he doesn’t blow her skirt up in bed anymore.

From day one, our boys are told that they’re too rowdy, too noisy and too stupid. They need to be medicated just to make it through the day. Instead of being prepared for a life of leadership and family and providing, they’re coached in sports and liquor and video-gaming. Addictions to alcohol, drugs and pornography are rampant because instead of being busy protecting and leading a family, they’re busy selfishly pursuing pleasure and idleness in their Mom’s basement. But that’s okay, what more can you expect from someone who only thinks with his sex organ?

How did we get here? Where did the road wind in the wrong direction? The major shift happened during World War II when Rosie the Riveter was used as propaganda to inspire women to leave their homes and families to hold the war effort together by assembling bombers. Suddenly, women were integral and highly paid. They were needed and respected as workers. Women found out that they could, indeed, survive without a man.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This feeling continued even after the war effort as women stepped down into lower paying positions of clerks and secretaries once the men returned home from war. Were the women reluctant to move aside? I’m sure they were. Were they pissed off? I can’t imagine they were joyful about it. This was the catalyst the propelled women into the workforce and gave them a taste of the corporate success they’d never had a bite of before.

Fast forward nearly 70 years and the workforce has drastically changed. More than half of all middle management jobs are held by women. When asked what she wants to be when she grows up, if a girl answers, “A mother and wife,” people will say, “Yes, but what do you want to BE.” As if being a mother and a wife isn’t enough or is only a hobby or something you do on the side when you have time.

We’re told from a young age if we go to school and get good grades, we can go out in the world and make a difference. By searching for that job that fulfills us, we’ll be able to change something. People will respect and remember us IF we have a good career.

My mantra is, “The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.” What better way to impact the world than by being 100% dedicated to raising independent thinking, intelligent and compassionate children? Why leave them to go out and do something somewhere else with someone else? But I digress.

Back to the men. I think the male ego gets a bad rap. I believe in God and I believe that he created men and women differently and complementary…on purpose. It’s a novel concept, I know. But really, the ego exists for a reason. For thousands of years before this “enlightened” time we live in, men were exclusively the builders, protectors and providers. They are biologically wired to do these things and are driven by the ego that they come from the womb with to perform these functions.

In the time before Walmart and Lowe’s, it was the men who had to go out and kill things for eating, build abodes with their bare hands and fight off others who might steal, pillage or otherwise offend. Can you imagine having just had a baby (without drugs, ’cause this is back in the day) and heading out to do a little bow hunting or fishing for dinner? Just jump on your horse with your mutilated rear-end and go track down a deer. ‘Cause you’re strong and fearless.

Nope, you needed an egotistical man to do that.

These days, a woman absolutely can survive without a man. She can work her way right up to middle management, get artificially knocked up and haul her little butt over to Walmart when she needs a fish for dinner. She can buy her own house, raise her own kids and feel empowered all the way to daycare every morning.

But what of these little boys being raised by their single, hardworking and frazzled mothers? Who is going to teach them to be men? Who is going to stop this vicious cycle of feminized men who don’t know how to provide for or lead a family? Why do women want to operate this way? What’s going to happen to all these little girls of single women who find a man “willing” to help her raise some other guy’s kids? What happens when the boyfriends of the Mommies are physically and/or sexually abusive to the kids? It’s a fact – children of single mothers are 20 times more likely to be abused sexually than children living in a home with their natural mother and father.

It’s a sad state our families are in and I believe it is directly affected by the absence of fathers (responsible men) in our society. But where have all the cowboys gone?

We’ve chased them all away. In our womanly quest to dominate the world, we’ve inadvertently disrupted the male ego’s rotation off its axis, causing a destructive shift in the biological equilibrium that exists between men and women. In lay terms, we’ve crapped in our own mess kits.

I’m not against women working, being successful or empowered or any of that. If going to a job everyday waves your flag, then more power to you. What I’m pushing here is a return to our homes and our men; a renewed dedication to families and kids. The way to meet this goal is through ourselves as women and the choices we make.

I’m not trying to further any type of archaic agenda of male dominance. I’m not trying to sell homemaking, crafting or Pinterest to everyone. I would just love to see more women embracing their biological purpose – to repopulate the earth and nurture their husbands and
children and *see* if that propels any changes in our society. I wholeheartedly believe it will make all the difference.

I’d never in a million years profess to have men figured out, but I believe their needs are simple. Just as women have wants, needs and expectations in relationships, the men of the world do, too.

  • They want love and respect.
  • They want to know they’re needed, appreciated and sexy.
  • They need to be fed and want us to make a reasonable effort to mother their children.
  • They want sex and yes, they need their ego stroked.

Is there anything wrong with that? Are any of these desires things you weren’t aware of before you married or shacked up with your man?

Didn’t think so.

At this point in history, we already know we’re strong, intelligent and capable. We know we can do it all, if we need to. We’ve proven ourselves worthy, closed the case, sealed the deal. Women are awesome.

Must we continue to ruthlessly pursue proving it at the expense of the masculinity of America?

 

I know I’m the “neck that turns the head” in our family, but I don’t wear the pants. I’m good with that. I don’t want to boss my husband into the dirt and nag him to Patsy-land. I want him to exert his manliness and provide for me. I need him to lead our family and protect us. We are meant to work like this, together, equally yoked as we navigate through the turbulent twists and turns of life.

Men come prepackaged and hardwired with the need and desire to conquer, protect and provide. With so little opportunity in our modern world to provide this service they are destined for, why not step back and let your male counterpart have the opportunity at home? Let him be the master of his domain. You might be surprised what happens. You might end up with a real man on your hands.

Imagine the possibilities…

 

Did this resonate with you? Tick you off…leave you scratching your head? What do you think about men in America?

 

 

Photos courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

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74 thoughts on “The Emasculation of America

  1. Wow! Jesi, you really made a statement here. But it is a statement that needs to be made. You are so right in your understanding of what has happened to our society as a result of the shifting roles. When we lived on the reservation, it was very easy to see how the men had been displaced in their society and what it was doing to them. Now, here we are a few more years down the road, and we are seeing the same effects in the anglo population. I guess, if we had really been looking, we would have seen it earlier here as well. The family unit is disintegrating rapidly. And I don’t see it shifting back anytime soon.

    Thanks for being willing to make a stand and a statement.
    Regina Partain recently posted…Buttons & More Buttons – A “Jangly” Button BraceletMy Profile

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    Jesi Randalls-Abernathy Reply:

    Thank you, Regina!

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  2. Hi Jesi

    We lived on the Navajo Reservation for about 7 years. In that microcosim of society, it was easy to see the displacement of the male and their role in society. Equally easy to see was the impact that had on the men. Whenever anyone’s purpose is eliminated, there is a fallout effect. Our society is clearly experiencing that fallout effect. You can see it in the crime, the unwed parents, the fatherless homes, and many other areas of our society.

    The family needs to be at the center of the re-constrruction of our society. The daily message from the church, I think it was today, had a great comment about this very subject.

    Thanks for sharing your views with us.
    Regina Partain recently posted…Put a Flower On It – A Flower for AnywhereMy Profile

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  3. Regina,
    I think that men should be more responsible when it comes to family. My parents worked as a team—everyone on a team has job and they do it, no whining! If we all took responsibility for our contribution to our own family life we could avoid many of the problems society faces today. Families need strong mothers and strong fathers—although these strengths usually manifest themselves in different ways.
    Accountability is what we need…no pointing the finger, take responsibility for your actions.
    Elle

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    Jesi Randalls-Abernathy Reply:

    I think you hit the nail on the head. The key is teamwork. Everybody has a job and everyone works together with mutual respect and responsibility. Problem solved. Thanks for your insight.

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  4. I personally feel we are seen more as equals and women are finally able to be heard. I think it’s wonderful that we can make six figures just like our brothers… and my husband and I really think equally – we are both on the same team and he is so proud that we both can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan 🙂
    Renew Your Space recently posted…Five Steps to Mapping Out Your DesiresMy Profile

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    Jesi Randalls-Abernathy Reply:

    It’s true, we live in an incredible time for women. I personally have never felt oppressed or discriminated against for being female. Maybe I’m oblivious or simply naive, nonetheless, it’s a good feeling to be able to fully recognize whatever potential I have while still retaining my femininity. Thanks for the comment!

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  5. First, your sarcastic self and I need to have lunch! Love it :0 Second, I love the hunting analogy-you captured the whole point right there exactly. This is a sentiment I’ve been hearing quite a bit lately, and I wholeheartedly agree. I have two situations in my personal life where I can see men I love being stripped of what makes them men and it makes me sad. Thank goodness I’m only responsible for one of them and I’m trying every day to make amends for that.
    Michelle H recently posted…Learning From MemoryMy Profile

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    Jesi Randalls-Abernathy Reply:

    Sarcasm is my constant companion for good or for ill. Thanks for your comment and I applaud you in your efforts take care of your man.

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  6. I must confess, when I first started reading this post, I was thinking, “Wow,” how in the world am I going to leave a comment on this. By the end, I was thinking “bravo, bravo.”

    As a pastor’s wife, I see so many single moms and I can’t help but think, “Where is the man in all of this?” But, on the other hand, I do see men that are comfortable in their role as the head of their family.
    Alli recently posted…10 Secrets to Looking Great in PhotosMy Profile

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    Jesi Randalls-Abernathy Reply:

    I’m incredibly blessed to be married to a man who is comfortable in his role at the head of the family and does a fabulous job leading his gaggle of girls. It hits close to home, with lots of our family members struggling, how important this is and so it weighs heavily on my mind. Thank you for your comment – I enjoyed your blog as well! Hopefully I can be more photogenic now…

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  7. I spent most of this post with my jaw dropped unsure how in the world I was going to comment on it. Maybe it’s where I live or maybe it’s the way my family works…I don’t see men as emasculated..my husband is a “real man” even if he does help clean and cook around the house. We are EQUALS which is the way I feel it should be. Up until recently we both worked and helped provide for our family. At the moment I am staying home with our youngest…while I love it, I will admit that my husband could do it just as well as I do and vice-versa (I could earn the money as well as he does). Even after all of this and reading your post I still just don’t know that I agree with it or disagree with it. I’m utterly confused at this point lol
    SouthernMessMom recently posted…5 Signs Of Child AbuseMy Profile

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    Jesi Randalls-Abernathy Reply:

    I realize for those women who are blessed with a good male leader in their home, this post may not translate. I am blessed with a fantastic husband who leads our home well, but I see up and close and personal, those broken families who either do not have a husband present in the home, or one who has been emasculated to the point of defeat. I promise you, they’re out there and it’s devastating not only to those families the but our society as a whole.

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  8. I must say I went through a few different thoughts, or emotions, if you will while reading this. At first I was a bit angry because I am the breadwinner in our family and while my husband works his tail off, if we could do it financially, he would be very happy to stay at home and occupy the “feminine” role in the family while I work at my corporate “job”. I don’t see this as less “manly” and neither does he – in fact I appreciate him helping cook, clean, take care of the kids, “rock the cradle”, etc. because I’d be nuts if I had to do it all. Did I choose to “wear the pants” in the family? No…of course I’d rather be home, but the nature of the world today makes that very difficult – in a financial sense we both have to work and since I have to work to provide I chose a challenging and fulfilling path which make me the primary earner. That being said, by the end of the post yes, I can see the points being made but I personally think the roles in a family should be based on equality and what works for the dynamics of that family, not gender.
    Alison Steward recently posted…The “Working” Parent…My 2 Cents…My Profile

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    Jesi Randalls-Abernathy Reply:

    Thank you for your comment. I understand that this post will strike a sour chord for many and my sarcasm may be lost on some. Masculinity is different for each man and couple and I fully embrace and applaud all the varieties that exist. I also admire men that help around the house and do their part. I can appreciate a man willing to be at home and keep the fires burning on that front. What works for one, may not for another.

    That being said, I still hold the belief that as a generality, our country’s men are emasculated, with so many being treated like expendable employees and babysitters by their wives (and Mothers-in-Law). Obviously, I know this isn’t true for everyone and not all men are feminine or beaten into submission by their hag of a wife. Gender roles are different in this day and time as well as different in every family and that’s okay.

    My satirical point here is that there are things everyone can do to put the family first and guide our country back into a place where people are purposeful and instinctive about living – a skill so many have lost. Making sure men are an integral and respected part of the family is a good place to start.

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  9. I love this! I can see where people might run into issues, but I think you are spot on. There is nothing wrong with embracing the role God gave you, and that can mean being a mom or being in the workforce. It’s all about your disposition and your attitude at home.

    Very well said. Very true. Very awesome!
    Jenna@CallHerHappy recently posted…Hamilton Beach Giveaway – woop!My Profile

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    Jesi Randalls-Abernathy Reply:

    Thank you! Attitude is everything.

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  10. At First….I started reading and was like “WOW” but in truth…it is the truth. I went to all female college where WOMEN power classes were a must. We had that “we can do it better then men” and ” we can break through the glass ceiling effect” I sit here thinking why can’t it be 50/50. Man have there strengths and women just as well. We all have different interest and talents, why must be left into two categories “What men can do?” what women can do” Why can we just share? Society likes to define who we are, but I say let our family do that. I am showing my kids that both my husband and I share responsibilities around the house. I take the trash out and he does the laundry. (Mainly because I hate).

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    Jesi Randalls-Abernathy Reply:

    I like the idea of not letting society define who we are and how our family functions – thank you!

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  11. I love your article. You said it well. I look at my life through your article. I’m an empowered woman. My parents taught me the value of a dollar, and the value of hard work. We had a lot of family time together and my parents taught us the importance of the simple things in life. I look at my little family now, and I’m a married, single parent. My husband is a great provider. He has a full time job and is in the Military so he is gone a lot. He is the breadwinner, he hunts a lot and I cook it up. I am empowered through this, because since he’s gone a lot I have to do a lot of the “man” things around the house. But, as soon as he’s home, there all his. I asked my husband once, “what makes you feel loved from me”? He told me, “Taking care of our kids and having dinner together, shows me you love me” I was like, okay, were good.
    Loved this article!!

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    Jesi Randalls-Abernathy Reply:

    We’re on same page, here. Thanks!

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  12. I will admit when I started reading I was thinking how am i going to comment, there where a few times I was scratching my head. But by the time I got to the end I was seeing how it all came together. In our house we both work but my husband is the main bread winner. I work part time to help provide but all domestic chores are on me. Would I like help around the inside and outside of the house by ALL means. So l am raising our son to help with those chores. Pointing out that his dad works very hard and very long hours to provide the roof over our head. Positive outlooks are part of the harmony in pur home.

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    Jesi Randalls-Abernathy Reply:

    Sounds like you have this family thing in the bag! Thanks for your comment.

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  13. It’s more than just America! My husband and I have taken on quite the traditional roles – with him working and me home with the kids looking after the house and family. It suits us both, but I know it doesn’t necessarily suit everyone. It shouldn’t be about proving anything about yourself – but finding what works for your family regardless of what is right or expected!
    Jill recently posted…Michael Morpurgo – An Elephant in the GardenMy Profile

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    Jesi Randalls-Abernathy Reply:

    You’re right – it’s different for every family and I’m all for living outside the constraints of society’s idea of what I should be doing.

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  14. Amen! As a single mom to a boy and a girl, I’m trying to teach them what the traditional roles are, but I can’t model that for them. I look to some of the men in my church for that – especially with my boy. This entire country needs to get back to basics – and it starts with the family!
    Michelle recently posted…Focusing on Your PassionMy Profile

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  15. You are right- we live in a new era for women. I feel so blessed to be a woman. Women’s roles are different for each family and each situation- I am a working mom, but wouldn’t change a thing!

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  16. This was a really powerful post, and I absolutely loved it! I’m raising two boys (with my husband), and I’m reading a book called Boys Should Be Boys that makes a similar point about how boys are often treated as though they are dysfunctional girls because people have stopped appreciating boys. Instead they do things like stick them in front of the TV or video games to control them. It is a scary time we live in.

    I am a working mom (my husband also works) as necessitated by our current circumstances, but I hate the fact that so many women in the work place has made dual incomes a must for many families. I enjoy my job, but I find it makes it difficult to care for my family the way I want to, which is endlessly frustrating.

    Thank you for sharing this message. I think it’s an important one for everyone to hear.
    Jennifer @ Little Silly Goose recently posted…It’s not about me, and I like it that way (who knew)My Profile

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    Jesi Randalls-Abernathy Reply:

    Thank you! I’m raising four girls, but I’m going to get the book, for sure.

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  17. The whole idea of “traditional family values” was only good times for the privileged few who benefited. Personally, I’m glad that our culture is changing and leaving behind the idea that gender or some people’s religion should determine family roles. These traditional values were oppressive to a large majority of people, mainly women and children, and completely ignored the existence of a lot of other people (what do all “the gays” do in your world?). Yes, boys need male role models, but I believe that a real man is more than a caricature of a caveman. No, I don’t believe that biological function determines our life paths and choices. I think that we’re smarter than that and unless you really are living off the grid somewhere, mainstream society has moved beyond the need for that.
    Olivia @ This West Coast Mommy recently posted…5 Reasons to BabywearMy Profile

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    Jesi Randalls-Abernathy Reply:

    I think having values benefits anyone and everyone. Values are about standing for something – anything – not about discrimination or exclusion. I feel blessed to live in a time where gender roles can be anything we desire – including traditional roles if we so choose. Discriminating against someone for choosing to uphold traditional values defeats the whole purpose of being appreciative of living in such a progressive time. I noticed that your last post was about babywearing. While we may have differing views on gender roles (although I did see you are a stay-at-home mom who does the laundry and dishes…) or familial values, I see that we connect and agree on babywearing. Isn’t that awesome?

    As for what “the gays” do in my world – another post, my friend, another post. (www.joshweed.com – my favorite gay blogger)

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  18. I live with the mindset that the man is the leader. I am a Christian and definitely believe that women are to be submissive – and I know that is such a ‘no-no’ in today’s world. But the term ‘submissive’ has been taken and twisted into something that it really isn’t. When my husband and I were in pre-marital counseling, the thing that really stuck with me was that men are to Lead, Love, and Learn their wives, and wives are to Follow, Fan, and Finish their husbands. We, as women, are called to follow our husbands (the picture of Christ and the Church), be are husband’s biggest fan, and finish them – do the things that they are not good at like making sure they know where their keys are 🙂 I love this cycle, and only with all of them being played out in a marriage will there be balance. If a woman is not her husband’s biggest fan, how can he love her the way that he is supposed to. Or if a man does not lead, how can his wife follow?

    Thank you for sharing this – I personally can’t wait to be both a wife and mother. I sometimes feel bad saying that is what I want to do with my life, but I shouldn’t!
    Becky @ Eliorah recently posted…Six Fall FavoritesMy Profile

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    Jesi Randalls-Abernathy Reply:

    Becky – I really appreciate your courage in your comment. You’re right that it’s a “no,no” in our society to subscribe to traditional values and gender roles. I find this incredibly interesting because the people who are telling us it’s a “no,no” are doing so because they’re *trying* to get us to be more “open minded”. What’s open minded about telling someone their beliefs and view points are wrong or out-dated?
    I like your idea of following, being a fan of and finishing our husbands. I have no problem following a man who is following Christ. If he’s following Christ, he’s going the direction I want to go as well as holding the belief that his wife is a powerful, equally yoked partner on the journey.
    I saw this recently and loved it:
    “A woman’s highest calling is to lead a man to his soul, so as to unite him with Source. Her lowest calling is to seduce, separating man from his soul and leave him aimlessly wandering. A man’s highest calling is to protect woman, so she is free to walk the earth unharmed. Man’s lowest calling is to ambush and force his way into the life of a woman.” – Cherokee Proverb

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  19. This post is amazing. I am in total agreement. I think feminism went a step too far. Although I’ve never thought much about how men feel in a world with strong women, I desperately crave some chivalry. I fear that we’ve killed it. I’m a twenty-something trying to date and find ‘the one’ … but some of the men out there have completely forgotten (or perhaps weren’t taught) how to be a ‘man.’ Of course, there are exceptions to the rule, but I think Rosie did us a disservice.

    After all, they still get paid more than us, and they can still open a pickle jar with less effort.
    Jacky recently posted…Never ForgetMy Profile

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    Jesi Randalls-Abernathy Reply:

    Jacky – you’ve got me chuckling. Thanks for your input. The pendulum of feminism has definitely swung too far, in my opinion. I know chivalry isn’t dead because the men in my life are nurturing it along, but I’m scared that it’s only a generation away from extinction. Good luck in your search for your chivalrous pickle jar opener!

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  20. This post is so great! You put into words many issues I’ve been pondering for quite some time now. I truly appreciate your boldness and willingness to state your thoughts without fear of the (very likely) mainstream opposition you will (are?) receiving in response to this post. Thank you for sharing 🙂
    Sarah B. recently posted…10 Surprising Sources of Gluten ContaminationMy Profile

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    Jesi Randalls-Abernathy Reply:

    Thank you! I can’t keep quiet any longer…

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  21. WOW! Well… My husband does everything I do, Chores, taking care of the children, and he’s the main bread winner of our household, If I die tomorrow I have full confidence my husband will be capable of taking care of our kids. Great post!
    Trista recently posted…Socially Awkward Link-Up‏My Profile

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    Jesi Randalls-Abernathy Reply:

    Thank you. It’s good to have a good guy around. Sounds like yours is a keeper!

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  22. (I can’t reply to your comment for some reason, it says ERROR Can’t find the ‘commentformid’ div.)
    I agree values should be about standing for something, but all too often I hear people talk about family values as code for keeping people “in their place” which is discriminatory and exclusionary. What I’m reacting to is the simplification or stereotyping of what it is to be a wife/mother or a husband/father. I think we’ve all got way more going for us than to settle for that.
    Hey, thanks for checking out my babywearing post! Yes, for financial and some other reasons, I stay at home with our kids and cook, clean, etc., but I do those things because that’s part of the role of the person who’s working at home, not because I’m the wife. When I return to work after my maternity leave, those duties get shared again. In times when I worked outside the home and my husband didn’t, he did the cooking and cleaning, and he’s certainly no less of a man for it. In fact, I’m working on a post right now with my husband about why dads should embrace babywearing too!
    Olivia @ This West Coast Mommy recently posted…5 Reasons to BabywearMy Profile

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    Jesi Randalls-Abernathy Reply:

    I’ll be waiting for your post about Dads and babywearing! My husband is not yet convinced. I even bought a nice manly, gray Boba but he’s not willing to put it on yet. I’ll keep trying!

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  23. First, this is hilarious.
    Second, I too believe in God
    Third, I too believe that he made males and female in complementary roles
    Fourth, All of the other comments are so interesting
    Fifth, As the mother of two daughters, I pray that they would find strong men, who encourage them to be exactly who God made them to be. Men who are leaders, and providers for their families. If they can work, to support the needs of their families, then awesome, if not, then that’s great too!

    Great post!
    Danielle recently posted…Weekly Pics, Including Transportation, Volleyball, and Weird PizzaMy Profile

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    Jesi Randalls-Abernathy Reply:

    Thank you! Sometimes the comments of blogs are almost as interesting as the blogs themselves!

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  24. Hmm… What to say to this post… I started off really, really enjoying the post, but by the end, you lost me. I get what you are saying, I really do, but I don’t fully agree with it. I’m on the fence, so to speak. Props to women for being strong, independent women who don’t need a man. That’s great. No, do not put down men and break their ego. And I agree that little boys should have a positive male influence in their lives. But I do not agree that a woman should revert back to “old” times and be the wife who keeps home, cooks, cleans, takes care of the kids alone, etc. We are passed that time. And I don’t think a boy 100% needs a man to show him how to survive in this world – especially if the situation does not have a positive male role model for said boy. I like to think that male and female roles should be equal. I would never want my husband to feel beaten down, but I certainly do not and would not expect him to treat me as inferior to him or have different roles than him.
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    Jesi Randalls-Abernathy Reply:

    I think part of what I’m trying to get across in my post is men and women are different. We can absolutely be equal partners and not inferior to one another in any way, but not necessarily equal in our roles in our homes. Last time I checked, my husband wasn’t able to get pregnant, give birth to a baby or breastfeed. That’s my domain. He’s not very good at cooking or tying hair bows, either. I can barely carry the weed-whacker and I certainly can’t cut down a tree that died in our back pasture or repair the roof on the barn. That’s his area of expertise. There’s just some things that are *usually* gender specific. If we embrace those things and support each other in our specialized jobs, I think we’d be so much happier.
    I don’t think it’s really about division of labor or who does what. It’s more about how we interact with each other and the respect we show one another.

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  25. I feel that each family unit needs to find their own balance and what works for them as a family. While we see many women raising children in a single parent household there are also fathers raising their children in single family households. It is all a balance and doing what is best in the interest of the children.
    Cherri recently posted…Walk This WayMy Profile

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    Jesi Randalls-Abernathy Reply:

    I think you’re right. I think as a rule, there is no “ideal” in our society because the definition of “family” varies greatly. I think the most important thing is exactly what you said – the best interest of the children should always be paramount.

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  26. While I don’t agree with every point made, I think I see your main point. I am a Christian wife and married to a wonderful Christian man. We truly are a team in our marriage. He’s very involved in interacting and playing with our daughters and works with computers. Someone in my family was recently discussing another family member in comparison to my husband and said, “well he (not my husband) is just a hard worker”. As if my husband doesn’t. Why do men who work with their minds look “less manly” than men who work with their muscles? I’ve seen some men who would possibly fit the description of a “real man” who pass their kids off on the wife and don’t even have a clue how to engage with their own kids.
    I myself had studied to become a physician and spent a lot of money educating myself for that goal. However, after giving birth to my first daughter I felt God moving me to give up that dream to be a full-time mother instead. That being said, I want my girls to hear those words of equality and education for women. I want them to have a strong faith that will help lead them and empower them in wherever their spiritual gifts lead them. Companies need women too to lead them!
    I don’t believe equality means superiority. That’s a problem I have with the feminist movement. We’re different, not better! Lastly, I think the sad commentary isn’t just about men and women, but about our values. Marriage and purity all are confused. Some girls actually believe now that if a man takes them out three times that’s the point to have sex. What!? The values that are being applauded in our world and nation just confuse everything. So, while I didn’t understand/agree/resonate with all of your points, I believe that your main point resonates a bit with what I also believe is a danger to my own children as they grow in our nation.
    Kim {StuffedSuitcase} recently posted…40 Weeks of Nut-Free School Lunches – Week 1My Profile

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    Jesi Randalls-Abernathy Reply:

    In the words of Don Corleone in The Godfather, “A man who doesn’t spend time with his family can never be a real man.” A hardworking, muscled man doth not a father make. I’m much more attracted to a beautiful mind than a beautiful body – I totally get you there! Thanks for your comment.

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  27. I think a lot of expectations are put on everyone in our society and people should just butt out and let every family decide what works best for them. For example, I am a stay-at-home Mom, and I love being a stay-at-home Mom. When people hear that I am stay-at-home Mom even though both my kids are in school full-time now, they say “Oh don’t you get bored staying home all day?” First of all, stay-at-home does not mean that you are locked inside your house never to come out all day. Second of all, no I do not get bored there are always plenty of things that need to be done and there are even more things to do just because I want to do them. Third of all, is it really any of their business – No!
    Jeryl M. recently posted…New York Mets GameMy Profile

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  28. I am so happy to say that I finally have a real man on my hands. He will do the dishes, laundry, or whatever else I may ask of him. BUT he also is one of the hardest working men I know. He does the hardest physical labor even though he has major back issues. He would do anything for me or anything I ask of him & I love having the best of both worlds. 🙂

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  29. As a man, I feel I am not emasculated. I could care less if my wife is more successful than I am. I don’t care what people think if I spent time helping raise my kids. That is what a parent does! I am sick of people expecting a man to be a certain way. We are not neanderthals. We are human beings. I can football and hockey, and then spend time with my wife at a farmer’s market.
    Tim recently posted…What’s for Dinner? Time to take inventoryMy Profile

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    Jesi Randalls-Abernathy Reply:

    Love hearing from a man! Thanks for your input.

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  30. “…we’re awesome because we have vaginas” is all I read, lol.

    Seriously though I contemplated this briefly a while ago while watching “The Perks of Being a Wallflower.” There’s a scene where the main character’s sister is yelling at her boyfriend telling him that he is not a man because he listens to everything his mother tells him like a “little bitch”. At that comment he slaps her and now he is depicted as a monster.

    Now physical abuse is definitely never OK, but neither is verbal abuse. Why is it that a woman can belittle and degrade a man but once he retaliates HE is the one who is in the wrong? Men are wired differently than women. Women in general are better with words and therefore are better able to use them to cut. Men are generally stronger and prone to react physically. Why is the latter such a greater evil?

    I bet almost no one flinched when the girlfriend called the man a “little bitch”, but that’s almost the greatest insult you can give a man. Those words can cut him to his core .Because words were the weapon nothing is thought of it, but the pain of words can last a lifetime while the pain inflicted by fists is fleeting.

    I have no idea why I got so passionate about this and my comment is unnecessarily long and probably rambily, but thanks for writing something that provoked so many people to think!
    Esperanza recently posted…10 Things My Children Have Taken From MeMy Profile

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    Jesi Randalls-Abernathy Reply:

    I get what you’re saying and I agree. I can’t understand why people either deny this or never figure it out. They’re convinced men and women are “wired” exactly the same. I think it’s like saying a laptop and a desktop are the same thing. At their core, they are most definitely similar, but you use them for different things. Each one has it’s benefits, strengths and weaknesses. In this day and age, you need both a laptop and a desktop. Can’t have one without the other…how’d you like that clever little analogy? 😉
    Thanks for your comment.

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  31. You have definitely got us thinking! I believe that gender and sex are not quite binary but I appreciate your point of view. 🙂 One thing I have noticed is that men are being empowered to take an active role in children’s lives. I see more commercials with men parenting and even doing housework–this is not emasculating them at all (it’s hard work!). I also see more men pushing strollers while still having a “manly” demeanor and image. You raise some good points and I just wanted to add that it is not all negative out there 🙂
    adAstra @Flexines recently posted…Define the splitsMy Profile

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