*Folks have been asking for an update on the “water to the gas tank” incident with our van. Welp. Here ya go. *Vandals You Own* I turned my back for one second. All good parental spiels begin this way, right? … Continue reading
Vandals You Own
Category Archives: Twins
Primary Program Sunday
Primary Program Sunday Each year, usually in October, each of our church’s congregations have a special Sunday where the little children present a program. They sing songs and talk about Jesus for an entire hour and it’s my favorite thing … Continue reading
Vandals You Own
*Folks have been asking for an update on the “water to the gas tank” incident with our van. Welp. Here ya go. *Vandals You Own* I turned my back for one second. All good parental spiels begin this way, right? … Continue reading
Cuticle Trimmers and Tire Swings
Just when I think my life couldn’t possibly get more weird or comical…I find a cuticle trimmer in the bottle of maple syrup I opened yesterday. Yes, it’s our cuticle trimmer and not a Costco quality control issue. You better … Continue reading
How to Breastfeed a Baby
How to Breastfeed a Baby When you find out you’re pregnant, read about 154 books on pregnancy, birth and child rearing, but go ahead and skip the parts about breastfeeding. How hard could it be, right? Then punch yourself in … Continue reading
Litter Boxes for Humans and other Potty Training Stories
I’m a member of a group on Facebook. It’s a secret. I will only tell you it’s for mothers who have babies in litters and are also Mormon. You have to have eaten the excrement of a toddler and abstain … Continue reading
Whoever said adulting isn’t all fun and games?
My life is one big rotation of games; “Are You Smarter Than Your Preschooler?” “How Many Ways Can a Toddler Escape?” “Where’s the Shoe?” “Name that Poop” “How to Remove Poop From Any Surface” “Did You Eat That?” “You Have … Continue reading
Three Years Later
Exactly three years ago, these little twerps were being extracted from a hole sawed in myabdomen. I had marched confidently into the hospital armed with a fresh pedicure and full hair and make-up, fully prepared to triumphantly and vaginally deliver … Continue reading
Large Family Vacation
A friend said to me the other day: “So I know you recently got back from vacation. I know crazy things had to have happened. Why haven’t you posted about it?” It’s true. We recently went on a trip known … Continue reading
How to be Pregnant with Twins (or just any old human baby)
Let your handsome husband talk you into a “back rub” when you know you’re ovulating. (Even though you’re of ‘advanced maternal age’ and theoretically should not be ovulating or left alone with a handsome husband) Laugh good-naturedly when your doctor … Continue reading
“Saturday Camping”: A Photo Essay
For the time being, ‘camping’ for our family entails driving 30 minutes to the beautiful Lyndon B. Johnson Grasslands, ‘hunting’ wild fried chicken from the drive-thru and making s’mores, then hightailing it home to our nice, comfortable beds and crib … Continue reading
The No Good, Very Bad Morning
Let’s just pretend I didn’t lose my shiz getting to homeschool co-op today, mmkay? We’ll just say that no one lost their shoes, refused to wear shoes, ate someone else’s food, pooped on the rug, insisted they were sick, outgrew … Continue reading
My Penguin
Before I launch into my excessively wordy and sappy Valentine tribute to my boyfriend, I want to describe the sequence of events surrounding the taking of these pictures. 15 year old was snapping pictures while the 12 year old was … Continue reading
Snow, I mean ICE days in Texas
We have this early spring phenomena in Texas called Ice Storms. It’s where Texas gets super drunk and pees really cold rain and sleet all over us and then forgets that it’s late February and proceeds to freeze overnight. Trees … Continue reading
Hurcuttin’, 5 o’clock Shadows and Adulting
Today was hurcuttin’ day at the Abernathy’s. When you have as many heads as we do, you improvise. Since we spend so much money on peanut butter, mayonnaise and toilet paper, there’s really no room in the budget for new … Continue reading
The Laundry Nazi
Laundry-doers of the world, UNITE! It’s a scary, filthy machine that never stops rolling and you are the one stainless-steel cog that keeps the whole show a-showin’. Usually, before 8am, I’ve logged 4,000 harried steps on the Fitbit, tallied about … Continue reading
How to Put 2 Year Old Twin Boys to Bed in Ten Easy Steps
How to put 2 year old twin boys to bed in ten steps when everyone else is at violin lessons: Step 1: Feed them dinner because they’re irrationally and inexplicably hungry at all hours of the day and night. Don’t … Continue reading
Only at the Baby Ranch…
Funny stuff from the Abernathy Baby Ranch today: 1. Leaves fall into the category of “best toy ever”. 2. Had to take an impromptu jaunt to Lowe’s to buy a new refrigerator because the other one is choking and taking … Continue reading
Halloween: Abernathy Style
What does Elsa + Little Red Riding Hood + Kim Possible + Iron Man + Fifties girl (or “office worker”, as Harleigh described her costume) + Grumpy Old Men = ? Halloween, Abernathy Style. Happy Halloween from two grumpy, little … Continue reading
Bad Baby Room
You know, if you ever question if dads are necessary, I whole heartedly can assure you, they are. ❤️ Daddy is in Houston with Uncle Davey helping with clean up after Hurricane Harleigh (she totally thought “Harvey” was Harleigh and … Continue reading
