I had a headache for ten twelve days recently. I’m getting old and premenopausal (I’m self-diagnosing here but have an appointment with my MALE PCP to confirm my suspicions and hopefully get some concrete solutions for my FEMALE problems) and … Continue reading
Laundry-doers of the world, UNITE! It’s a scary, filthy machine that never stops rolling and you are the one stainless-steel cog that keeps the whole show a-showin’. Usually, before 8am, I’ve logged 4,000 harried steps on the Fitbit, tallied about … Continue reading
My family is not normal. I’ve made peace with this fact and embrace our large family, psychotic chaos. I know we’re not normal because of the following collected data: 1. I go out to break up a major dog fight … Continue reading
How to put 2 year old twin boys to bed in ten steps when everyone else is at violin lessons: Step 1: Feed them dinner because they’re irrationally and inexplicably hungry at all hours of the day and night. Don’t … Continue reading
Funny stuff from the Abernathy Baby Ranch today: 1. Leaves fall into the category of “best toy ever”. 2. Had to take an impromptu jaunt to Lowe’s to buy a new refrigerator because the other one is choking and taking … Continue reading
We may have to start calling our shenanigans “Tales from the Chapel” because the boys made it through by the skin of their teeth today! 🎉 We had to leave a couple times because of reaching Howler Monkey status, but … Continue reading
1. Back to Homeschool – barfing 2. First day of co-op – missed 3. Throw up plague – dropping like flies 4. First day pictures – not your average fun 5. Just another day in paradise. September 7th, 2017 After … Continue reading
I don’t really like people or things that hang around without a purpose or a job. I’m convinced that people and things (animals or “stuff”) that don’t have a job to do don’t like themselves either. That little candle holder … Continue reading
I mentioned last week in my Funny Friday piece that we talk with our kids a lot about awkward subjects…sex, periods, prostitutes, the nesting habits of rare birds, why a baby might resemble the mailman and so forth. Nothing is … Continue reading
My kids are 11, 8, 5 and 2. We’ve been talking about sex since the oldest was about 4 years old. That’s when the awkward questions started surfacing unexpectedly. I wasn’t really ready for it, but it happened whether I … Continue reading
I have a little minion who is 5 years old and excessively funny. Not because she tries to be but because she blurts out whatever is … Continue reading
Okay, so let’s all join hands and say a little prayer before we begin this discussion because goodness knows, it brings out the kitty claws in the most docile of humans. Amen. Weird Questions from my Masseuse Recently, I was … Continue reading
This was written while I was pregnant and before we lost our baby at 18 weeks. Regardless of how many kids we have or if we have any more in the future, my sentiments are the same. Thought this was … Continue reading
Facts to make this post decipherable: We really like the movie “Dumb and Dumber” in our house. My kids can recite the lines word for word. We … Continue reading
We really like Halloween at our house. Sure, some feel like it’s an over-commercialized celebration of Pagan evilness, but I figure as long as you’re not sacrificing puppies or drinking the blood of calves, you’re probably fine. When I was … Continue reading
By the time most of you read this, it will be Saturday. So it will not be a Funny Friday, but a late Funny Friday Saturday. And it may not be funny at all. It was funny to me at … Continue reading
Last week, I likely offended a few with my emotionally charged narrative chronicling my experiences at McDonald’s Playland. I promised to detail Hope’s retelling of this story in my weekly Funny Friday piece. (Hope is my four year old) Well, … Continue reading
Sometimes we have to rescind a thing or two. If you read this menstrual, emotionally charged, politically incorrect rant about kicking a kid in the face at an earlier time, please accept my heartfelt apologies. Please read my new struck-through and … Continue reading
Recently, while sneaking and watching Saturday Night Live in our bedroom, my husband and I had a really good laugh watching Vanessa Bayer do her Miley Show … Continue reading
We women deserve a good, firm scolding. What are we doing? We’re so busy being empowered and taking over the world that we’ve created a major monster. So many of the men of this country are beat-down dogs with their … Continue reading
