Any of you who have a four year old know that you just can’t trust their pie-hole. This is the transcript of a recent conversation with my four year old. 

One morning Hope ambled into the bathroom to go potty. She had recently stopped wearing diapers at night and was waking up regularly with no pee pee in her pants. On this particular morning, this is how it went down:

Me: Hopie! You went through the night without peeing! Good job. (Hope nods enthusiastically) Did you tell your gina (as in VA-gina – with a long i) “keep that pee in there!”?

Hope: (with a look of disgust) No, I didn’t talk to my gina because ginas don’t talk. They just go “pfffftt.” (swings her legs and smiles nonchalantly) And they don’t have eyes.  They just crack open.

Me: (silenced by shock and awe)

Do you have any good stories of the terrifying things children say in public or private? Lay ‘em on us.  Comment below.