We have this early spring phenomena in Texas called Ice Storms. It’s where Texas gets super drunk and pees really cold rain and sleet all over us and then forgets that it’s late February and proceeds to freeze overnight.

Trees splinter and snap, motorists careen all over the streets and highways, people loot Walmart, the electricity gets turned off and then EVERYTHING gets cancelled.

So, therefore, the Abernathys get stuck at home with no internet or electricity for long periods of time.

They do the best they can to keep the natives from getting restless.

1. There are lots of random crafts participated in like gluing spoons together and using markers to make large, fake body tattoos.

2. Many, many board (bored) games are played and much Monopoly money eaten and destroyed.

3. Many books are read with lots of bodies crowded around the kerosene lamp. If I have to say, ‘I Love You, Stinky Face’ in my Mommy-Skunk voice one more time I’ll…absolutely LOVE it.

4. Every single icicle within 59 feet of the house must be beaten down with sticks, every puddle stomped in and every chunk of ice licked and tossed at a sibling.

5. Naked Ice Wrestling must commence on the trampoline.

6. Twins are made into baby turtles using scarves and green dollar store baskets. This turns out to be the best game ever created and super entertaining for both young and old alike.

7. Children are repeatedly bundled and unbundled, multiple times a day with hats, scarves, gloves, coats and mittens only to play outside for 3-5 minutes until they are either frozen to the bone or need to ‘pee real bad’.

8. Dogs refuse to go willingly outside. So, they have to be hand carried, one by one, against their will, outside for poop breaks. Then when someone returns to let them back in, there are 10 fresh, steaming piles on the patio and doormats whilst the dogs cower and shiver at the door. It’s been 5 minutes.

9. Each dog must be towel dried before they can come back in the house. Don’t worry, this only happens 12-15 times per day.

The electricity comes back on and we cheer – everyone sprinting to their devices to see what they missed. I fire up the washer, dryer, oven and dishwasher and give each one a little kissy-poo.

Even though no one wants to admit it, being forced to slow down, to read, to play, to rest…it’s nice once in a while. To not hear the hum of all the equipment that must run 24/7 in a large family is actually refreshing.

I think for a moment that maybe this wouldn’t be such a bad idea for a regular occurance.

Then, a day later, I head out to the deep freeze to pull out a roast for dinner and…realize the GFCI outlet tripped and the bank of freezers have been off for over 24 hours.

Thanks, Texas. Just thanks.