*Folks have been asking for an update on the “water to the gas tank” incident with our van. Welp. Here ya go. *Vandals You Own* I turned my back for one second. All good parental spiels begin this way, right? … Continue reading
Vandals You Own
Tag Archives: children
Primary Program Sunday
Primary Program Sunday Each year, usually in October, each of our church’s congregations have a special Sunday where the little children present a program. They sing songs and talk about Jesus for an entire hour and it’s my favorite thing … Continue reading
Encroachment and other Insults
My family is very verbal and we are quite irreverent in our humor. We possess the cloven and razor sharp tongues of the Devil Serpent and therefore do a lot of crap talking and butt kicking amongst ourselves. Alas, even the youngest of our clan wield words like the weapons of the most feared warriors. Continue reading
The Value of Loving Others
This book is required reading at our house. It’s because sometimes kids are jerks and they have to be taught how not to be a jerk. My theory is, if teens are pressed to look outside themselves to find purpose, they will likely discover contentment. Continue reading
Have You Had Your Crack Today?
Okay, parental units. I have to clear my throat and step up onto my rickety, wooden soapbox. I am forever shocked when I hear that precious baby boy or little princess has unfettered access to the armpit of our generation. … Continue reading
The Box Pusher
Dear Male Humans,
Ok, men. I’d like to paint a little picture for you. An analogy, if you will. Let’s compare family life to a box.
Everything is in the box – your house, your job, your wife’s job, your marriage, the kids, the dogs, the grocery shopping, school, church, your health, her health, the kids’ health, the neighbors’ health, the extended family, the cat, the cars, the broken toilet…all of it. Continue reading
How to Put 2 Year Old Twin Boys to Bed in Ten Easy Steps
How to put 2 year old twin boys to bed in ten steps when everyone else is at violin lessons: Step 1: Feed them dinner because they’re irrationally and inexplicably hungry at all hours of the day and night. Don’t … Continue reading
Halloween: Abernathy Style
What does Elsa + Little Red Riding Hood + Kim Possible + Iron Man + Fifties girl (or “office worker”, as Harleigh described her costume) + Grumpy Old Men = ? Halloween, Abernathy Style. Happy Halloween from two grumpy, little … Continue reading
Bad Baby Room
You know, if you ever question if dads are necessary, I whole heartedly can assure you, they are. ❤️ Daddy is in Houston with Uncle Davey helping with clean up after Hurricane Harleigh (she totally thought “Harvey” was Harleigh and … Continue reading
Back to School Tales From a Big, Sick Family
1. Back to Homeschool – barfing 2. First day of co-op – missed 3. Throw up plague – dropping like flies 4. First day pictures – not your average fun 5. Just another day in paradise. September 7th, 2017 After … Continue reading
Whole30 with Kids?
Mid-December 2016 Having twins did a really bad thing to me. It robbed me of the ability to be a rational human. The poor little guys don’t mean to do these things, but their introduction into our family has brought … Continue reading
Funny Friday – Convos with Hannah – Let’s talk about sex
I mentioned last week in my Funny Friday piece that we talk with our kids a lot about awkward subjects…sex, periods, prostitutes, the nesting habits of rare birds, why a baby might resemble the mailman and so forth. Nothing is … Continue reading
Have You Had the “Sex Talk” With Your Kids?
My kids are 11, 8, 5 and 2. We’ve been talking about sex since the oldest was about 4 years old. That’s when the awkward questions started surfacing unexpectedly. I wasn’t really ready for it, but it happened whether I … Continue reading
Funny Friday – Convos with Hope – Why Don’t You Die?
I have a little minion who is 5 years old and excessively funny. Not because she tries to be but because she blurts out whatever is … Continue reading
Do You Spank Your Kids?
Okay, so let’s all join hands and say a little prayer before we begin this discussion because goodness knows, it brings out the kitty claws in the most docile of humans. Amen. Weird Questions from my Masseuse Recently, I was … Continue reading
I Have Four Daughters
This was written while I was pregnant and before we lost our baby at 18 weeks. Regardless of how many kids we have or if we have any more in the future, my sentiments are the same. Thought this was … Continue reading
5 Tips to Avoid a Kid-Crack Nightmare on Halloween
We really like Halloween at our house. Sure, some feel like it’s an over-commercialized celebration of Pagan evilness, but I figure as long as you’re not sacrificing puppies or drinking the blood of calves, you’re probably fine. When I was … Continue reading
Adventures at McDonald’s (Sometimes you accidentally kick a kid in the head)
Sometimes we have to rescind a thing or two. If you read this menstrual, emotionally charged, politically incorrect rant about kicking a kid in the face at an earlier time, please accept my heartfelt apologies. Please read my new struck-through and … Continue reading
Funny Friday – Convos with Hope – Miley Cyrus Jokes
Recently, while sneaking and watching Saturday Night Live in our bedroom, my husband and I had a really good laugh watching Vanessa Bayer do her Miley Show … Continue reading
Funny Friday – Convos with Hannah – The Question of Zero
Every family has a kid that questions everything. In our case, that kid is highly observant and smart as a whip. You can see the wheels cranking inside her little blond head each time she’s confused or less than impressed … Continue reading
