*Folks have been asking for an update on the “water to the gas tank” incident with our van. Welp. Here ya go. *Vandals You Own* I turned my back for one second. All good parental spiels begin this way, right? … Continue reading
Vandals You Own
Tag Archives: family
Primary Program Sunday
Primary Program Sunday Each year, usually in October, each of our church’s congregations have a special Sunday where the little children present a program. They sing songs and talk about Jesus for an entire hour and it’s my favorite thing … Continue reading
The Most Important Thing
Because I’m questiony and curious, I want to ask you a hypothetical question.
What is the most important thing a parent could ever do?
Thinking…
The cynical little hag that sits on my shoulder says, “Eat Oreos and Cheetos in the closet where no one can see or hear.” Or maybe, “Train all the children to do all the chores and then read books all day.” Or “Get shock collars for all the ki…” Wait. Scratch that last one.
No screentime
Just a little screentime
No screen
No gluten
No sugar
No nitrates
Babywear
Baby Led weaning
Attachment parenting
Helicopter parenting
Free-range parenting
Sleep with the baby
Sleep train the baby
Fed is best
Breastfeed
Bottlefeed
Homeschool
Unschool
Forest School
Private school
Public school
Authoritative
Permissive
Helmets
Love and Logic
Wild Child
Vegan
Vegetarian
Paleo
Keto
The sheer amount of knowledge and information and choices in our modern lives – especially with regard to parenting – just blows my wig off.
My real opinion?
Traditions. Traditions change everything. Traditions mean the kids have something to look forward to, stand up for and remember long after we’re not in their faces all the day long. It’s the tireless job of building a strong family culture.
It’s family vacation. It’s chores and working together. It’s praying together. It’s making the elf do stupid things. It’s consistency. It’s church on Sunday. It’s rules. It’s consequences. It’s playing hard as a family and then working even harder. It’s a special glass egg in the Easter basket every year. It’s holidays with extended family. It’s Grandma and Grandpa.
It’s strong beliefs and opinions. It’s encouraging questions. It’s sweet potato casserole every single Thanksgiving. It’s going through hard things and suffering and coming out stronger, side by side. It’s laughing till you pee and crying because life hurts. It’s making it clear that family is always first. Always.
It’s dragging out the same dusty Christmas ornaments and Halloween decorations every year and dessert and pot roast on Sundays. It’s celebrating milestones and personal growth and life changes. It’s spiritual growth as a unit. It’s sharing our weaknesses and our triumphs. It’s celebrating the smallest victories. It’s culture of acceptance. It’s the book challenge in summer and reading the scriptures together.
It’s talking about sex and love and relationships all the time. It’s letting them know that we don’t have all the answers and that’s okay. It’s late-night chit-chat after dates. Bedtime stories. Height recording at the beginning of the school year. Family movie night. Matching jammies at Christmas. The list goes on and on and on and it’s different in every family.
There is no right answer for tradition.
It’s not one culture or religion or tradition. It’s all the little things we fight for and the puzzle pieces we keep on placing even though we’re exhausted from all the running but we keep on going because it brings our babies back into our orbit even when they’re grown. It’s the expression of love that speaks to their heart and assures them they are more than the sum of their own parts. Tradition whispers to their soul that they belong and they are part of something. They matter. They’re important.
Our family isn’t whole without you, child.
Creating memorable experiences with our families changes each member. It builds love and trust and connection. It’s a historical narrative that fortifies their lives one tradition at a time and makes them stronger mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. It binds them to their people and their home and reminds them where they came from and what they’re always a part of. It gives them something to stand for. It buries a longing in their innards for always returning to where they started.
Get out that elf you hate this Christmas because it’s not about the elf. It’s about the feelings. Make those special cookies or read that special book over and over or kneel down together even when it’s hard and feels weird and you don’t want to. Herd them under your wings and chase them down and make them pose with their Easter basket even though they’re too old. It’s about the belonging and significance these traditions implant into the hearts of our babies.
Do it. It matters. Even when it’s so hard and so exhausting and so confusing. It’s so important.
What No One Told You About Parenting
If you’re following my drift here, it’s not all beer and skittles, my friends. Parenting sucks a great majority of the time. Ironically, it is also the most fantastic hard thing that will ever happen to you and those squeaky little rats will gift unto you unparalleled joy and purpose and lead your heart to the Land of Milk and Honey. Paradoxically, they will also draw out your worst fears and insecurities and unhealed emotional anguish. Sometimes all these things happen over the course of a single day Continue reading
Encroachment and other Insults
My family is very verbal and we are quite irreverent in our humor. We possess the cloven and razor sharp tongues of the Devil Serpent and therefore do a lot of crap talking and butt kicking amongst ourselves. Alas, even the youngest of our clan wield words like the weapons of the most feared warriors. Continue reading
The Box Pusher
Dear Male Humans,
Ok, men. I’d like to paint a little picture for you. An analogy, if you will. Let’s compare family life to a box.
Everything is in the box – your house, your job, your wife’s job, your marriage, the kids, the dogs, the grocery shopping, school, church, your health, her health, the kids’ health, the neighbors’ health, the extended family, the cat, the cars, the broken toilet…all of it. Continue reading
Fun, Old Fashioned Family Christmas Album
What do you get when you add up nine cousins, five moms and dads, a Grammy and a Grampy and 17 days of Fun, Old Fashioned Family Christmas? One epic ugly Christmas sweater family photo, that’s what. Oh…and an over-flowing … Continue reading
Only at the Baby Ranch…
Funny stuff from the Abernathy Baby Ranch today: 1. Leaves fall into the category of “best toy ever”. 2. Had to take an impromptu jaunt to Lowe’s to buy a new refrigerator because the other one is choking and taking … Continue reading
Bad Baby Room
We may have to start calling our shenanigans “Tales from the Chapel” because the boys made it through by the skin of their teeth today! 🎉 We had to leave a couple times because of reaching Howler Monkey status, but … Continue reading
Whole30 with Kids?
Mid-December 2016 Having twins did a really bad thing to me. It robbed me of the ability to be a rational human. The poor little guys don’t mean to do these things, but their introduction into our family has brought … Continue reading
The Lost Art of Taking Care of People
I grew up in the South where you’re always welcome in just about anybody’s house. When you arrive, for whatever reason you’ve come, they invite you in, ask how your Mama’s doing and offer you supper…or at least pie. Anything … Continue reading
Joining the Cult of Gratitude
You’ve heard it before – the people who lovingly speak of the bad stuff that happens to them and dreamily recount how it’s blessed them and they’re – gasp – thankful for their trials. Oh puh-lease! I’ve always operated under … Continue reading
The Thing about Gluten
So, let’s get it straight. I’m not a doctor. Obviously. I like to read nutrition books. Some folks fish, some bowl, others knit. I read blogs and books about nutrition. There’s a reason “nut” is the beginning of nutrition. Jimmy … Continue reading
Funny Friday – Convos with Hannah – Let’s talk about sex
I mentioned last week in my Funny Friday piece that we talk with our kids a lot about awkward subjects…sex, periods, prostitutes, the nesting habits of rare birds, why a baby might resemble the mailman and so forth. Nothing is … Continue reading
Have You Had the “Sex Talk” With Your Kids?
My kids are 11, 8, 5 and 2. We’ve been talking about sex since the oldest was about 4 years old. That’s when the awkward questions started surfacing unexpectedly. I wasn’t really ready for it, but it happened whether I … Continue reading
Do You Spank Your Kids?
Okay, so let’s all join hands and say a little prayer before we begin this discussion because goodness knows, it brings out the kitty claws in the most docile of humans. Amen. Weird Questions from my Masseuse Recently, I was … Continue reading
I Have Four Daughters
This was written while I was pregnant and before we lost our baby at 18 weeks. Regardless of how many kids we have or if we have any more in the future, my sentiments are the same. Thought this was … Continue reading
Have a Whole Foods Thanksgiving, Ya’ll
Thanksgiving is rapidly approaching and Pinterest has been flooded with all sorts of awesome recipes. I’ve been scrolling and drooling like a mad-woman. We all know that Thanksgiving is a day of food comas, football and family drama. I mean, … Continue reading
Convos with Hannah – Our Goats’ Souls Are Falling Out!
Facts to make this post decipherable: We really like the movie “Dumb and Dumber” in our house. My kids can recite the lines word for word. We … Continue reading
Liver Cupcakes? Why eating liver is good and how to do it sneaky
You want me to eat liver? Gross. I grew up in a part of the country where liver ‘n’ onions was a staple and common dinner fare. (or as they say in Virginia, “supper”) … Continue reading
