Because I’m questiony and curious, I want to ask you a hypothetical question.
What is the most important thing a parent could ever do?
Thinking…
The cynical little hag that sits on my shoulder says, “Eat Oreos and Cheetos in the closet where no one can see or hear.” Or maybe, “Train all the children to do all the chores and then read books all day.” Or “Get shock collars for all the ki…” Wait. Scratch that last one.
No screentime
Just a little screentime
No screen
No gluten
No sugar
No nitrates
Babywear
Baby Led weaning
Attachment parenting
Helicopter parenting
Free-range parenting
Sleep with the baby
Sleep train the baby
Fed is best
Breastfeed
Bottlefeed
Homeschool
Unschool
Forest School
Private school
Public school
Authoritative
Permissive
Helmets
Love and Logic
Wild Child
Vegan
Vegetarian
Paleo
Keto
The sheer amount of knowledge and information and choices in our modern lives – especially with regard to parenting – just blows my wig off.
My real opinion?
Traditions. Traditions change everything. Traditions mean the kids have something to look forward to, stand up for and remember long after we’re not in their faces all the day long. It’s the tireless job of building a strong family culture.
It’s family vacation. It’s chores and working together. It’s praying together. It’s making the elf do stupid things. It’s consistency. It’s church on Sunday. It’s rules. It’s consequences. It’s playing hard as a family and then working even harder. It’s a special glass egg in the Easter basket every year. It’s holidays with extended family. It’s Grandma and Grandpa.
It’s strong beliefs and opinions. It’s encouraging questions. It’s sweet potato casserole every single Thanksgiving. It’s going through hard things and suffering and coming out stronger, side by side. It’s laughing till you pee and crying because life hurts. It’s making it clear that family is always first. Always.
It’s dragging out the same dusty Christmas ornaments and Halloween decorations every year and dessert and pot roast on Sundays. It’s celebrating milestones and personal growth and life changes. It’s spiritual growth as a unit. It’s sharing our weaknesses and our triumphs. It’s celebrating the smallest victories. It’s culture of acceptance. It’s the book challenge in summer and reading the scriptures together.
It’s talking about sex and love and relationships all the time. It’s letting them know that we don’t have all the answers and that’s okay. It’s late-night chit-chat after dates. Bedtime stories. Height recording at the beginning of the school year. Family movie night. Matching jammies at Christmas. The list goes on and on and on and it’s different in every family.
There is no right answer for tradition.
It’s not one culture or religion or tradition. It’s all the little things we fight for and the puzzle pieces we keep on placing even though we’re exhausted from all the running but we keep on going because it brings our babies back into our orbit even when they’re grown. It’s the expression of love that speaks to their heart and assures them they are more than the sum of their own parts. Tradition whispers to their soul that they belong and they are part of something. They matter. They’re important.
Our family isn’t whole without you, child.
Creating memorable experiences with our families changes each member. It builds love and trust and connection. It’s a historical narrative that fortifies their lives one tradition at a time and makes them stronger mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. It binds them to their people and their home and reminds them where they came from and what they’re always a part of. It gives them something to stand for. It buries a longing in their innards for always returning to where they started.
Get out that elf you hate this Christmas because it’s not about the elf. It’s about the feelings. Make those special cookies or read that special book over and over or kneel down together even when it’s hard and feels weird and you don’t want to. Herd them under your wings and chase them down and make them pose with their Easter basket even though they’re too old. It’s about the belonging and significance these traditions implant into the hearts of our babies.
Do it. It matters. Even when it’s so hard and so exhausting and so confusing. It’s so important.
