Let’s just pretend I didn’t lose my shiz getting to homeschool co-op today, mmkay?

We’ll just say that no one lost their shoes, refused to wear shoes, ate someone else’s food, pooped on the rug, insisted they were sick, outgrew their pants overnight, rifled through the garbage, barfed in their kennel, wouldn’t wear socks because of ‘the string on the toe’ or screamed like a wild hyena in the hallway at 5:45am.

For all you know, no one cried at preschool drop off or said ‘shut up mama’ during morning announcements. Absolutely no one latched onto my leg with the brute strength of a gorilla or purposely threw a goldfish on the floor and proceeded to stomp it mercilessly with a camo cowboy boot, wearing the sly grin of a death row inmate.

For all intents and purposes, we were all, every single one of us, the model of angelic, unruffled Homo sapiens all morning.

But…I was able to capture my twin Homo sapiens being so charming and adorable that the memories of the morning were spontaneously combusted.